Men's Fraternity is a series of three one-year-long studies, beginning with The Quest for Authentic Manhood, followed by Winning at Work and Home, and ends with The Great Adventure. Men's Fraternity provides men with an encouraging process that teaches them how to live lives of authentic manhood as modeled by Jesus Christ and directed by the Word of God.He introduced three models of marriage: The Top Down Traditional Marriage where the husband's position is "King, Lord", Leadership Style is "Lord, Goal in Mind is Personal Benefits, and effects on marriage is "usually results in a winner and a loser, the woman is normally the loser.
Secondly, the 50-50 Identical Marriage, Husband position is partner, Leadership style is leaderless, Goal in Mind is Equality and Effects on Marriage is balance, but balance is not achieved so the marriage fails. In business, partnerships fail more than any other type of business. Read Galatians 3:29 for more information on the biblical prospective.
Finally, the Side by Side Biblical Marriage, Ephesians 5:23, 25, and 31. Husband's position is Head, Leadership Style is Responsible and Sacrifice, Goal in Mind is ONENESS, and Effects of Marriage are health, happiness, and harmony. Obviously this goal is what Dr. Lewis views as the best and most likely to survive.
Although, couples today try to have an identical marriage, it often leads to loneliness and confusion and divorce. However, it is the most often pursued marriage style of young Americans today.
Why is this? comment please. I have decided to only pursue the Side by Side Marriage! Although, I may get pressure for other opinions, however after my sessions up to this point in their is only one way for a successful marriage. Many of the men in my group have a lot of work to do to fix their marriages. I have learned from my own mistakes and my the men in my group! All of the men involved in the partnership style are divorced or very unhappy...and so are their wives!
7 comments:
Side by Side is the only way to do it! Woman was created from man's side, to be a helpmate. They are to labor side by side both in their home and in the kingdom of God. God's way is the best way. If the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, she has no problem submitting her will to his. Problems arise when one tries to dominate the other, usually underlying insecurity issues. The Side by Side Marriage has worked for me for over 21years and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes I catch a lot of flak from friends who don't understand and have no intention of trying to understand, but I believe God's way is the best way.
....interesting. Hope you are safe over there.
"Marriage is against nature. You can be certain only of this moment that is in your hands. All promises for tomorrow are lies----and marrige is a promise for your whole life. Lovers dont decieve each other.... the truth belongs to the moment.
In a better, more intelligent world, people will love, but will not make any contracts. It is not a business!! The moment the man feels that now his beloved holds no joy for him, he will say that the time has come to part. There is no need for marriage, there is no need for divorce.... Friendship is not possible between the jailer and the imprisoned."
This however, does not apply to the happily married. My take on life, do what makes the heart happy!!
P.S. You make my heart happy :-)
THanks for all of the comments
Rob, my man. Good summary of the three views of marriage by Dr. Lewis. I finished the "Man and his Wife" part II this morning on my own. Would love to have been there with the group.
All interesting comments, but I couldn't disagree more with your anonymous commentator. My wife and I have a side by side marriage, and I attribute most of its successes to her. She truly is a servant lover, which makes me want to be all the more servant leader for our family. She knows I would die for her (many people say that for effect, but in my heart I know the truth of this statement) and I hope my relationship with her demonstrates "agape" love. A love that is not self-seeking, but looks to deliver only the best in one's mate. And brother, it's a blissful relationship. Keep your head down, Rob. Miss you, man. Haven't had a cigar since I left.
I AGREE WITH ANONYMOUS (ME) COMPLETELY
" To be in love is to be in a storm, constantly. You need courage and you need awareness, and you are to be ready for anything. There is no security in love; love is insecure. Marriage is a social phenomenon. Love is individual, personal and intimate.
Love is a hidden cloud, whereabouts unknown. Unpredictable!!!
Marriage is created because man is afraid of the unknown. Substitute for love? Marriage.
Marriage is more permanent than love. Love may be eternal, but it is not permanent. It may continue forever and forever, but there is no inner necessity for it to continue. It is like a flower: bloomed in the morning, gone by the evening . It is not like the rock. Marriage is more permanent; you can rely on it. In old age it will be helpful.
Marriage is a way to avoid difficulties, but whenever you avoid difficulties and challenges you have avoided growth also. Married people never grow. Lovers grow, because they have to meet the challenge every moment -- and with no security. They have to create an inner phenomenon. With security you need not bother to create anything; the society helps. Marriage is a formality, a legal bondage. Love is of the heart; marriage is of the mind."
BY THE WAY GRAWDADDY, how would your wife know that you'd die for her, unless you've actually died for her? Would you still die for her if she did you wrong and left or only if she remains your "servant" (possession). Your ego might have told you that that was a great thing to say but its still the same ridiculous statement worded differently.
Robert if you must choose a type of Marriage first and foremost choose love!!! Mediate on this. Go within yourself and remember love is God. Dont ever forget love. LOVE IS THE BRIDGE!!
I'm not sure I fully understand or agree with these distinctions. From what I do understand, Shannon and I have been running a 50-50 partnership for >26 years with pretty good results. But I'm on the inside; maybe we don't really have a 50-50? Anyway, there are times we agree, times we disagree, and times when one or the other "draws a line" on a controversy and in that moment on that topic becomes the "leader". Communication is everything.
I also think people tend to categorize things (marriage styles, etc.) in sometimes artificial ways, and then try to extrapolate such categorizations to everyone. I'm not sure how well this works. That's my opinion, anyway!
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